What Makes You Angry?

Idris Tawfiq

Some people always look angry, don’t they? You can see it on their faces. These people look as though they will explode any minute and vent their anger on the first person who gives them the chance to do so. Heaven help the waiter who is late with the coffee or the gas station worker who makes a mistake with the change. There is no pleasing such people. They are the most difficult people to work or to live with.
There is a big difference, though, between being angry and showing your anger. People show their anger in different ways. For some, it is precisely the kind of explosive outburst we have just mentioned. For others, they can be just as angry, but they express their anger quietly. There is a difference, too, between things that make us angry and things that annoy us.

Annoyance

All of us become annoyed, now and again, by the routines of life. Being kept waiting for people who are late for an appointment is annoying. Not finding the right can of baked beans in the supermarket is annoying, especially if you have been looking forward to them! Such things, though, in Allah’s scheme of things, are not world shattering. We can get by with life’s little annoyances.

Being angry, though, is a different matter. If we find ourselves getting angry and losing our temper over small things, we need to take a look at ourselves and ask what is causing this anger. Are we angry with others just because we got up late or we didn’t have any breakfast? If this is the case, there is really no excuse for our anger. Are we finding fault with others when really the blame lies squarely on our own shoulders? As Muslims, we should try to tame this sort of anger. This is not how Muslims behave. At the present time, many eyes are on Muslims, looking for yet another excuse to find fault or to point an accusing finger. We should never let our own behaviour be the reason others think ill about Islam.

There are, on the other hand, things that cause us to be angry. Some things really make us mad. In these cases, being angry is quite justifiable and as Muslims we are right to be angry. We read in a translation of the meaning of the Qur’an:

(O ye who believe. Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves or your parents or your kin.](An-Nisaa’ 4:135)

Justice

Justice should be so important to us that we should seek justice, even if it costs us dearly. Justice is one of the attributes of Almighty Allah. He is just in all that He does. As Muslims we should be keen to see justice prevail, and we should be angry when people are dealt with unjustly.

There are small things that make me angry because they involve people. It really makes me angry, for example, when I see someone who has a lot of money treating someone with little money in an unkind way. You know the kind of people I mean. The kind of man with a big car, who drives fast and hoots his horn to make people get out of the way, just to show how important he is. Or the man who insists on being served before anyone else, just because he has more money than they have. I was in line at the airport once and a “celebrity” turned up and pushed right to the front of the line. “Don’t you know who I am?” he said. The man behind him had a great reply: “You are a human being, just like everyone else!”

These kind of people make me angry because they are not fair to others. Instead of thanking Allah for the good things they have in life, they boast of the vastness of their riches and abuse those who have none. In fact, anyone in a position of authority who abuses that authority makes me angry. As Muslims we should care for the poor and the weak. Caring for them means speaking out on their behalf, too.

Unfortunately, in our world there are some situations that cause us to be rightly angry. When we see the terrible suffering of our brothers and sisters in Palestine, who are humiliated daily by occupation soldiers and are denied basic human rights and, in some cases, access to their land and their family, this is an evil that causes us to be angry. Having foreign occupation soldiers in Muslim lands makes me angry. Muslims being targeted in many societies because of their religion makes me angry. The list goes on, but I think you get the idea. Injustice is the greatest cause for anger in our world.

What we do with our anger and how we respond to injustice are what makes us different from others. For example, when those cartoons appeared in Denmark about our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him), we had every cause to be angry. Burning flags and throwing stones, though, did not seem to me to be the right response. Such a response played right into the hands of those who want Islam and Muslims to look bad. Boycotting goods, speaking out, writing to MPs and ambassadors all seemed ways of showing how angry we were.

Final Thoughts

Similarly, if we are really angry about what is going on in Palestine, we could do something tomorrow to stop it. We could boycott Israeli goods and the goods of those who support Israel. This would have an immediate effect. Money talks. But often, all we are prepared to do is just talk to ourselves. Anyone can burn a flag or throw stones. Giving up our favourite fizzy drinks might hurt us more, but it cuts off money to those who provide bombs and bullets that kill Palestinian women and children. This is a real focus for our anger.

There is a lot, then, that can make us angry. Knowing how to control and channel our anger is what is most important. Otherwise, our anger just costs us a lot of emotion but achieves little else. As Muslims, we need to be wise. We also need to be very calm and to remember that Allah, not us, is in control of all things. If our anger is just bad temper, then it is inexcusable. If it is righteous anger, we should learn how to make our feelings known. If the world’s Muslims could channel their righteous anger into the proper ways of combating injustice and oppression, then perhaps the world would sit up and listen to us. If we are just angry young men and women, no one will bother about us at all.

How To Stop Being A Violent Person

Latiefa Achmat

People may not always think too much about themselves and their behavior; they may spend many years of their lives with bad and destructive habits, until they finally realize that they are violent and that the people they love are afraid of them. It is hoped that the following information will help violent people, as well as the people around them, to understand the signs of violence and what can be done to help overcome them.
A violent person has a low threshold of anger. This means that it does not take much to make him or her angry and react aggressively. A violent person also does not like to be opposed; is unable to deal with opposition. Some people may be born with characteristics that incline them to violence, but the environment at home and the example of family can either reduce the effect of these characteristics or develop them. A personality trait can be developed over time and usually becomes full blown by the time the person reaches 17 years or so. After this age, violence is often a choice, whereas before that it can be considered a behavioral pattern that is often affected by peer pressure.When my friend was 17 years old, she was sitting in school and her friend leaned over and talked to her. The teacher turned around at that moment and saw my friend being spoken to by another girl. For some unknown reason he chose to throw the duster at my friend. The injustice was obvious in the eyes of all the class that they collectively urged her to throw the duster back at the teacher!

My friend recalled that she didn’t really want to do that and didn’t see what good it would do, but because of the encouragement of her classmates, she submitted and threw the duster at the teacher, with a perfect aim, I might add. She was thrown out of the classroom for the rest of the year and suffered a lot because of this. When she tried to explain to those in authority the injustice that had happened to her, no one would take proper notice because all they could see was what she had done and how outrageous it appeared.

Violence is not the answer; it was a hard lesson for my friend. Had she remained calm and reported the incident, things would have been very different. This is an example of violence that is a conscious choice. Obviously, the consequences are negative. Of course the teacher was violent himself, but my friend submitted and got caught up in the net and cycle of violence.
Just like any negative behavior, violence can be unlearned. It is a matter of learning how to use your energy in a positive way. Violent people have a lot of energy. Finding the root of the person’s problem is the starting point. Perhaps that person had negative situations at home or at school; perhaps he or she was abused, bullied, or neglected. It could be one of many things. One of the biggest ways a person can learn to be violent is by being treated in extreme ways. The person may have been given no boundaries or the person may have been over-disciplined; this is where frustration and resentment creep in.
If you are a young person and find yourself continually behaving in a violent way, here are some things that you can do.

1. Establish Prayer, because being close to Allah keeps you calm and balanced.
2. Try to count to a certain number before you react.
3. Avoid situations where you know you will have a clash of opinions, especially with your peers.
4.  Don’t carry weapons, because you may get angry, lose control, and use them.
   Make sure you get enough sleep. Even people who do not have a problem with violent behavior can become moody and irritable when they do not get sufficient sleep.
5. Try to keep your stress level down, for example, have a good diet and eat nutritious food, don’t overload yourself with work, try to be moderate in everything, and avoid any kind of intoxicant.
6. Keep your wudu at all times, because that keeps Satan away from you. Of course, he will always be trying to make you angry, because that leads to negative behavior.
7. Keep company with nonviolent friends; with balanced and positive people. If you hang out with violent people or gangs, you will end up doing what they do because of peer pressure.
8. Avoid watching violent films and playing violent video games, because they will stimulate you and let you enter a world of unreality, where there are no consequences and no punishments, which is not true in the real world.

One time, there were three boys who watched a film and they saw someone being hanged. After watching this film they began to enact it and they hung one of their friends, just like they had seen in the film. The boy died, even though they didn’t intend to kill him. They thought it was just a game.

Films also glamorize violence and make violent people into popular heroes that young people emulate. Since we live in a world of films and imagination, we must learn to tell the difference between reality and fantasy.
Here are some tips on how to stop being violent.
Avoid intoxicants because they feed your sense of unreality, which is bad for you.
Keep yourself busy doing positive and beneficial activities.
Enroll in some kind of community work where you do things for other people who can’t do those things for themselves. In this way, you will have a sense of strength without having to be violent.
Play nonviolent sports-tennis, squash, gymnastics, swimming and so on.
Try to trace the source of your anger. Some thing must have happened at some time during your life that made you feel as you do. All people have the potential to be angry and violent, but some curb it while others don’t. If you are one of the people who don’t, then try to find out why.
Learn to deal with the violent urges that stem from anger and be aware of how anger and violence may be accepted in your society, even though it is wrong behavior. To shed more light on this point, imagine there are twins and one is raised in a nonviolent society while the other is raised in a violent society. They will both learn different ways of dealing with their anger and violence. Try to find out how you fit into all this.
Develop good communication skills so you can express yourself as this will help you to keep within your anger threshold. A friend of mine was living in a foreign country and could not speak the language well. Whenever she was in a confrontation she would find herself getting angry very quickly, simply because she couldn’t make herself understood. The same applies when we try to speak to people of our own language and culture but we cannot get our point across. This results in frustration, anger, and violence.
Look at the reasons for your violent behavior and then adjust that behavior. For example, if you find that you get violent when you mix with certain people, then stop mixing with them! Also, be careful of overreacting. Plan for yourself, taking into account the people around you. For instance, a common problem is that young people often don’t ask for permission to go out to an important function until the day arrives, then they just throw the situation at parents, who might react and say no simply because it takes them off guard. The answer for this would be to ask permission in advance and get them used to the idea.
Finally, keep the channels of communication open with your parents, brothers, and sisters so you can receive guidance and advice from them. Choose a relative who is close to you in age, one who has experienced adolescence recently and so can empathize more. Discuss your problems, fears, and concerns; recognize your emotions and give them their right-meaning don’t suppress your emotions but do this is a positive, nonaggressive, nonviolent way

The Seething Ecstasy of Anger

http://mozaffar.progressiveislam.org/?p=457

Anger seeps through your system like a devil pulsating through your arteries. It consumes you. It becomes the eyes with which you see. It becomes the mind with which you think. It becomes the hands with which you strike.

There is that one type of anger that you turn to in that split second. You’re facing a sudden conflict, and in that split second you have to make your choice. It is fight or flight. Do you fight? Or, do you turn away? If you fight, you know it will be bad. But, in that split second, you don’t give yourself the time to think. In many cases, you turn away. When your guard is up, it is easy to turn away. Meaning, it is easy to keep control.

But, if you are communicating with a loved one, your guard is already down. When you are with loved ones, you cry more quickly. You laugh more quickly. You relax more quickly. Because your guard is down.

Or, when you are scared you are unable to pull up your guard. Your mind is racing left and right for some comfort. As a result, you aren’t thinking straight. Thus, you leave yourself with less choices.

If Anger is one of your common choices, then you will reach for it to give you the sense of protection. You seek it to provide a response to your fight or flight scenario, or to give you protection from your fear. And if you do it again, you will keep doing it again and again. The more you reach for it, the more it becomes you. And the results will be horrible.

There is the other kind of anger that seeps through your system. While the prior Anger is (essentially) Rage, this latter Anger is far more devious and calculating. When you experience a rupture in your life, you may seek glue from this Anger. And when you do, this glue becomes the glue that holds together your whole person. You no longer see people as humans. You see people as allies or adversaries. You see people as accomplices and victims. The only rule this Anger follows is to destroy, humiliate and feed itself. It is an appetite.

And the results will be horrible.

Patience & Gratitude: Translator’s Afterword

Patience and GratitudeBy Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat ash-Shâkireen” © 1997 TA-HA
Translator’s Afterword

We are living in a time of great confusion, a time where Muslims are only just beginning to rediscover their identity after centuries of decline and subjugation to others. Indeed, we are still dazzled by the achievements of others, and it is a constant strug­gle to reassert our Islâm in the face of overwhelming pressure from Western media and technology.

Human knowledge may have advanced in leaps and bounds over the past few decades (and let us not forget that the scientific and medical progress of the West is bat on a foundation laid down by Muslims!), but it is clear that people are thirsting for more than technology alone can offer. This is evident in the spread of “new-age” movements and cults, and also in the phenomenon of “self-improvement” and “personal-development” books, sales of which have mushroomed in recent years.

Such “motivational” books and the tapes and courses that are also available are well presented and appear very attractive. Muslims, too, may be avid consumers of such material. But this material, which is overwhelmingly Western in orientation, only serves to further confuse the Muslim, who is already suffering from the identity crisis that has blighted followers of Islâm for far too long. No doubt Islâm has also the answers, so why can we not find information on “self-improvement” in Islâmic texts?

In fact, when we familiarize ourselves with our Islâmic heritage (turâth), we will find that our forebears had a great deal to say about the human condition. They examined the universe, and human beings, in the light of the Qur’ân and Sunnah, and wrote much that is still pertinent to everyday life so many centuries later. The problem for English-speaking Muslims is that, if they cannot read Arabic, this wealth of knowledge is inaccessible to them. Fortunately, however, many individuals and organizations are now making the effort to translate important books into English, so as to make the treasures of our heritage available beyond the Arabic-speaking world.

One of the most vital qualities for any person to attain is that which is known in Arabic as sabr: patience or perseverance. Anyone who wishes to be a better student, a more successful businessman, a wiser parent, needs patience. Similarly, anyone who wishes to fulfil his duties towards Allâh, to observe all the prayers and fasts required by Islâm, to treat other people well and to overcome his own shortcomings and failings (Jihâd an-nafs) also needs patience. Patience and gratitude are the keys to success in this world and the next, as we have learnt from reading the words of Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah.

May Allâh guide us to His Way and help us to be among

as-Sâbirîn and ash-Shâkirîn

Patience & Gratitude: The Sahâbah and Tabi‘în on gratitude

Patience and GratitudeBy Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat ash-Shâkireen” © 1997 TA-HA

Chapter 17: The Sahâbah and Tabi‘în on gratitude
· Gratitude of different faculties
· Prostration of gratitude
· All the good deeds of man cannot pay for one blessing of Allâh

Salmân al-Fârsî (RA) said: “There was a man who was given many of the luxuries of this world, and then they were taken away from him. But he continued to praise and thank Allâh until everything had been taken from him, even his bed. And then he still praised and thanked Allâh. Another man, who had also been given many of the luxuries of this world asked him, ‘What are you praising and thanking Allâh for?’ The man said, ‘I am praising and thanking Him for blessings which, if others asked me to give them to them in return for all that they have, I would never give them up.’ ‘What can they be?’ asked the second man. ‘Can’t you see?’ asked the first man. ‘I have my eyesight, my tongue, my hands, my feet…’”

Mukhallad ibn al-Husayn said: “The definition of gratitude is abstaining from wrong action.” Abû Hâzim said: “Every blessing that does not bring you closer to Allâh is a disaster.” Sulaymân said: “Remembering His blessings makes one love Allâh.”

Hammâd ibn Ziyâd narrated that Layth ibn Abî Burdah said: “I went to Madînah, where I met ‘Abdullâh ibn Salâm, who said to me: ‘Would you like to visit a place visited by the Prophet (SAAS), and we will offer you sâwiq and dates?…’ Then he said: ‘When Allâh gathers people on the Day of Judgement, He will remind them of His blessings. One of His slaves will say: “Remind me of something,” and Allâh will say: “Remember when you faced such-and-such adversity, and you prayed to Me, so I relieved you of it. Remember when you were travelling in such­and-such a place, and you asked Me to give you a travelling companion, and I did so… Remember when you asked for the hand of so-and-so the daughter of so-and-so, and others also asked for her hand, so I gave her to you to marry; and kept the others away.” His slave will be standing before his Lord, Who will remind him of His many blessings.’” Then the narrator of this story (Layth) wept and said, I hope that no one will stand before his Lord in this way, because the one who does so will be punished.” (i.e. if Allâh has to point out that which should be obvious, this is a sign of a person’s ingratitude, and he will be punished.)

Bakr ibn Abdullâh al-Muzânî said: “When a man faces affliction, he may pray to Allâh and Allâh may deliver him from adversity. Then Shaytân comes to the man and whispers, ‘It was not as bad as you thought,’ Thus the man’s gratitude will be weakened.” Zazan said: “The right of Allâh over the man who is enjoying His blessings is that such a man should not use His blessings in order to commit wrong actions.” A man of knowledge said: “The blessing of Allâh to us in keeping the luxuries of this world away from us is greater than the blessing of that which he has given us, because Allah did not like His Prophet to have the luxuries of this world. So I prefer to live in the manner which Allâh preferred for His Prophet than to live a life which He dis­liked for him.”

Ibn Abi’d-Dunyâ said: “It was narrated to me that some scholars said: ‘The scholar should praise Allâh for having deprived him of the luxuries of this life, in the same way that he should praise Him for what He has bestowed upon him. How can you compare the blessings and luxuries for which he will be accountable to the deprivation of luxuries which is a relief from being tested, and which keeps his mind free to worship and remember Allâh? So he should give thanks to Allâh for all of that.’”

It has been said: “Gratitude is giving up wrong action.” Ibn al­Mubârak said: “Sufyân said: ‘He does not understand religion properly who does not count affliction as a blessing and ease as a disaster.’”

Gratitude of different faculties
A man said to Abû Hâzim: “What is the gratitude of the eyes?” He said, “If you see good things, you speak about them, and if you see bad things, you keep quiet about it.” He asked, “What is the gratitude of the ears?” He said, “If you hear something good, you accept it, and if you hear something bad, you reject it.” Then he asked, “What is the gratitude of the hands?” He said, “Do not take what which does not belong to you, and do not hold back from paying the dues of Allâh (zakât).” Then he asked, “What is the gratitude of the head?” He said: “To have knowledge in it.” Then he asked, “What is the gratitude of one’s private parts?” He quoted: “‘Who guard their private parts, except from those joined to them in the marriage bond, or (the captives) whom their right hands possess – for (in their case) they are free from blame, but those whose desires exceed those limits are trans­gressors’” (al-Mu’minûn 23:5-7).

As for those who only pay lip-service to gratitude, and do not give thanks with the rest of their faculties, are concerned, they are like a man who has a garment and all he does with it is touch it, but he does not put it on: it will never protect him from heat, cold, snow or rain.

Prostration of gratitude
When the Messenger of Allâh (SAAS) used to receive good news, he would prostrate himself (sujûd) and give thanks to Allâh. Abdu’r-Rahmân ibn ‘Awf (RA) narrated: “The Prophet (SAAS) entered upon us in the mosque, stood facing the qiblah, then prostrated himself and remained in sujûd for a long time. I said to him: ‘O Messenger of Allâh, you prostrated yourself for such a long time that we thought Allâh had taken your soul.’ He said: ‘Jibrîl came to me with good news. He told me: “Allâh says, ‘Whoever sends blessings on you, I will send sixty blessings on him in return, and whoever salutes you, I will salute him in return,’ so I prostrated myself and gave thanks to Allâh.’” (Ahmad)

Sa‘îd ibn Mansûr narrated that Abû Bakr (RA) prostrated himself when he heard the news that Musaylimah had been killed, and Ka‘b ibn Mâlik (RA) prostrated himself when the Prophet (SAAS) told him the good news that Allâh had forgiven him.

All the good deeds of man cannot pay for one blessing of Allâh
A worshipper worshipped Allâh for fifty years, so Allâh told him that He had forgiven him. The man said, “O Allâh, what is there to forgive when I have not committed a wrong action?” So Allâh caused a nerve in his neck to give him pain, so he could not sleep or pray. When the pain eased and he was able to sleep, an angel came to him, so he complained to the angel of the pain he had suffered. The angel told him: “Your Lord says to you that your fifty years of worship is to pay for the soothing of your pain.”

Ibn Abi’d-Dunyâ mentioned that Dâwûd (AS) asked Allâh: “What is the least of Your blessings?” Allâh revealed to him: “O Dâwûd, take a breath.” Dâwûd did so, and Allâh told him: “This is the least of My blessings on you.”

From this we may understand the meaning of the hadîth which was narrated by Ziyâd ibn Thâbit and Ibn ‘Abbâs (RA): “If Allâh was to punish the people of heaven and earth, He would have done that without being unjust towards them, and if He were to have mercy on them, His Mercy would be far better for them than their deeds.” (Abû Dâwûd)

In a sahîh hadîth the Messenger of Allâh (SAAS) said: “No one will attain salvation by virtue of his deeds.” The people asked, “Not even you, O Messenger of Allâh?” He said, “Not even me, unless Allâh covers me with His mercy and blessings.” The deeds of a man cannot pay for even one of the many blessings of Allâh, because even the smallest of Allâh’s blessings and favours far out­weigh the deeds of man. So we must always bear in mind the rights which Allâh has over us.

Patence & Gratitude: Ahadith on Gratitude

Patience and GratitudeBy Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat ash-Shâkireen” © 1997 TA-HA

Chapter 16: Ahâdîth on gratitude

It was reported that the Prophet (SAAS) stayed up all night, stand­ing until his feet became swollen. When he was asked, “Why are you doing this, when Allâh has forgiven all your past and future wrong actions?” he replied, “Should I not be a grateful slave?” (al-Bukhârî, Muslim)

The Prophet (SAAS) told Mu‘âdh (RA): “By Allâh, I love you, so do not forget to say at the end of every salâh, ‘O Allâh, help me to remember You and to give thanks to You and to worship You well’” (Ahmad, at-Tirmidhî).

Hishâm ibn ‘Urwah said: “Among the du‘â of the Prophet (SAAS) is: ‘O Allâh, help me to remember You, to give thanks to You and to worship You well.’”

Ibn ‘Abbâs (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAAS) said: “There are four qualities, whoever is given them has truly been given the best in this world and the next. They are: a grateful heart (that is thankful to Allâh), a remembering tongue (that mentions Allâh often), an en­during body (to persevere through the trials which Allâh may send), and a faithful wife (who does not cheat him of her body or his wealth).”

Al-Qâsim ibn Muhammad reported from ‘Ā’ishah (RA) that the Pro­phet (SAAS) said: “No blessing is bestowed on a slave and he realizes that it is from Allâh, but the reward of giving gratitude for it is written for him. Never does Allâh know the regret of His slave for a wrong action he has committed, but Allâh forgives his wrong action before the slave seeks forgiveness. No man buys a garment with his own money then puts it on and thanks Allâh, but Allâh will have forgiven him all his wrong action before the garment reaches his knees.”

The Prophet (SAAS) said: “Allâh is pleased with His slave if, when he eats something, he thanks Allâh for it, and when he drinks something, he thanks Allâh for it” (Muslim).

Shu‘bah said: “At-Fadl ibn Fudalah narrated that Abû Rajah al­ ‘Utaridî said: ‘Once we saw ‘Imrân ibn al-Husayn wearing beautiful clothes that we have never seen before or since. ‘Imrân told us that the Prophet (SAAS) said: “If Allâh bestows His blessing on His slave, He likes to see the effect of that blessing on him.” ‘”

Ibn Shu‘aib narrated from his father and grandfather that the Prophet (SAAS) said: “Eat, drink, and give sadaqah without be­ing extravagant or showing off, as Allâh likes to see the effect of His blessing on His slave.”

Shu‘bah narrated from Abu Ishâq from Abu’l-Akhwas who nar­rated that his father said: “I came to the Messenger of Allâh (SAAS) looking dishevelled and scruffy. He asked me, ‘Do you have any possessions?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He asked me what sort, and I told him, ‘I have all sorts. Allâh has given me camels, horses, slaves and sheep.’ The Prophet (SAAS) said: ‘If Allâh has given you all of that, then let Him see His blessing on you.’”

Abu’d-Dunyâ narrated the hadîth of Abû ‘Abdi’r-Rahmân as-Silmî from ash-Sha‘bî, from an-Nu‘man ibn Bashîr, who said: “The Mes­senger of Allâh (SAAS) said: ‘Speaking of Allâh’s blessing is gratitude and ignoring it is ingratitude (kufr). The one who does not give thanks for a small blessing will not give thanks for a great blessing, and the one who does not give thanks to people will not give thanks to Allâh. To be with a group is a blessing, and to be alone is a punishment.’”

Ibn Abi’d-Dunyâ narrated that ‘Ā’ishah (RA) said that the Prophet (SAAS) entered upon her one day and saw a small piece of bread on the floor, so he picked it up and wiped it, then told her: “O ‘Ā’ishah, treat the blessings of Allâh with respect, for when it departs from a household it may never come back to them.”

Ad-Darwardî narrated from ‘Amr ibn Abî ‘Amr from Sa‘îd al-Maqburî from Abû Hurairah (RA) that the Messenger of Allâh (SAAS) said: Allâh said: ‘The position of the believer in relation to Me is of the best: he praises Me even when I am pulling the soul from his body.’”

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAAS) said: “If any of you would like to see the great blessing of Allâh on him, then let him look at those who are less fortunate than him, not those who appear better off than him.”

Patience & Gratitude: Gratitude in the Qur’an

Patience and GratitudeBy Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat ash-Shâkireen” © 1997 TA-HA

Chapter 15: Gratitude in the Qur’ân
· The rewards of gratitude
· Iblîs and gratitude
· Gratitude and ‘ibâdah Allâh tells us: “Then remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and do not reject Me” (al-Baqarah 2:152). And He has told us that only those who are grateful to Him truly worship Him:

“… and be grateful to Allâh, if it is Him you worship” (al-Baqarah 2:172)

Allâh has mentioned gratitude alongside îmân, and has made it clear that He gains nothing from punishing His people if they give thanks to Him and believe in Him:

“What can Allâh gain by your punishment, if you are grateful and you believe?…” (an-Nisâ’ 4:147)

In other words: if you carry out the duties for which you were created, namely gratitude and îmân, why should Allâh punish you?

Allâh has divided people into two categories, the people of gratitude (shukr) and the people of ingratitude (kufr). The thing most disliked by Him is kufr and the people of kufr, the thing most liked by Him is gratitude and the people of gratitude:

“We showed him (i.e. man) the way: whether he be grateful or ungrateful (rests on his will).”(al-Insân 76:3)

According to the Qur’ân, the Prophet Sulaymân (AS) said:

“… This is by the grace of my Lord! – to test me whether I am grateful or ungrateful! And if any is grateful, truly his gratitude is (a gain) for his own soul; but if any is ungrateful, truly my Lord is free of all needs, Supreme in honour!” (an-Naml 27: 40)

And Allâh said:

“And remember! your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): ‘If you are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you; but if you show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed’” (Ibrâhîm 14:7).

“If you reject (Allâh), truly Allâh has no need of you; but He likes not ingratitude from His slaves: if you are grateful, He is pleased with you…” (az-Zumar 39:7).

There are many âyât in the Qur’ân where Allâh makes a contrast between gratitude (shukr) and ingratitude (kufr). For example:

“Muhammad is no more than a Messenger: many were the Messengers that passed away before him. If he died or were slain, will you then turn back on your heels? If any did turn back on his heels, not the least harm will he do to Allâh, but Allâh (on the other hand) will swiftly reward those who (serve Him) with gratitude” (Āl ‘Imrân 3:144).

The rewards of gratitude
The reward of gratitude is unlimited:

” …If you are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you…” (Ibrâhîm 14:7)

In contrast, other rewards and divine favours are conditional upon His will, for example, relief from poverty:

“… but if you fear poverty, soon will Allâh enrich you, if He wills…” (at-Tawbah 9:28)

answering prayers:

“Nay – on Him would you call, and if it be His Will, He would remove (the distress) which occasioned your call upon Him…” (al-An‘âm 6:41).

rizq (sustenance, provision):

“… He gives Sustenance to whom He pleases” (ash-Shura 42:19).

forgiveness:

“… He forgives whom He wills, and He punishes whom He wills…” (al-Fath 48:14).

Divine mercy:

“Again will Allâh, after this, turn (in mercy) to whom He will…” (at-Tawbah 9:27).

But Allâh has made the reward for gratitude free from any conditions, as in:

“… And swiftly shall We reward those that (serve Us with) gratitude” (Āl ‘Imrân 3:145).

“But Allâh will swiftly reward those who (serve Him) with gratitude” (Āl ‘Imrân 3:144).

Iblîs and gratitude
When the enemy of Allâh realized the virtue of gratitude, he made his main aim to keep people away from it:

“‘Then will I assault them from before them and behind them, from their right and their left: nor will You find, in most of them, gratitude (for Your mercies).’” (al-Ā‘râf 7:17)

Allâh has described the people of gratitude as being very few:

“… But few of My slaves are grateful!” (Sabâ’ 43:13).

Gratitude and ‘ibâdah
Allâh explained in the Qur’ân that the only people who truly worship Him are those who give thanks (gratitude) to Him, so those who are not among the people of gratitude are not among the people of ‘ibâdah:

“… and be grateful to Allâh, if it is Him you worship” (al-Baqarah 2:172)

He instructed His slave Mûsâ (AS) to accept what He had be­stowed upon him with gratitude:

“…O Mûsâ! I have chosen you above (other) men, by the mission I (have given you) and the words I (have spoken to you): take then the (revelation) which I give you, and be of those who give thanks.” (al-Ā‘râf 7:144)

Allâh has told us that His pleasure may be attained through gratitude:

“… If you are grateful, He is pleased with you…” (az-Zumar 39:7).

Allâh praised Ibrâhîm (AS) for being grateful for His favours:

“Ibrâhîm was indeed a model. Devoutly obedient to Allâh, (and) true in faith, and he joined not gods with Allah. He showed his gratitude for the favours of Allâh, Who chose him, and guided him to a straight way.” (an‑Nahl 16:120‑121)

Allâh mentioned that gratitude is the purpose of creation:

“It is He Who brought you forth from the wombs of your mothers when you knew nothing; and He gave you hearing and sight and intelligence and affection: that you may give thanks (to Allâh).” (an-Nahl, 16:78)

“Allâh had helped you at Badr, when you were a contempt­ible little force; then fear Allâh; thus may you show your gratitude.” (Āl ‘Imrân 3:123).

As well as being the purpose of creation, gratitude was also the purpose of sending the Prophet (SAAS):

“Then remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and do not reject Me.” (al‑Baqarah 2:152).

Patience & Gratitude: Patience and loving Allâh

Patience and GratitudeBy Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat ash-Shâkireen” © 1997 TA-HA

Chapter 14: Patience and loving Allâh
· Patience for the sake of Allâh, by the help of Allâh and in accepting the decree of Allâh
· Different degrees of patience

Patience is one of the most important qualities demanded of those who claim to love Allâh, as the degree of patience determines those who are sincere in their claim and those who are not. The degree of patience needed to endure hardship and difficulties in order to please the Beloved proves the sincerity of one’s love. Many claim to love Allâh, but when Allâh tests them with hardship, they forget the true essence of love. No-one can adhere to the love of Allâh except those who are patient and persevering (as-sâbirûn). If it were not for the test of hardship and sincerity, there would be no proof of the sincerity of a person’s love of Allâh. The one whose love of Allâh is greater, has a greater degree of patience.

Therefore, Allâh has attributed the quality of patience to His close friends (awliyâ) and most beloved. He said about His beloved slave Ayyûb (AS): “…Truly We found him full of patience and constancy. How excellent in Our service! Ever did he turn (to Us)!” (Sâd 38:44) Allâh instructed the most beloved to Him of everything He created to have patience in accepting His decree and told him that patience comes only by the help of Allâh. He praised those who have patience and promised them the best of rewards: the rewards of others are defined and limited, but the reward of as-sâbirûn is without measure. Patience is vital at all levels of Islâm, îmân and ihsân, as well as being a major element in îmân (faith) and tawakkul (putting one’s trust in Allâh).

Patience for the sake of Allâh, by the help of Allâh and in accepting the decree of Allâh

1. Patience for the sake of Allâh, hoping for His rewards and fearing His punishment.

2. Patience by the help of Allâh, as man realizes that he has no patience himself, and has no power to acquire patience. Rather, he knows: “there is no power and no strength except by (the help of) Allâh.”

3. Patience in accepting the decree of Allâh, as man realizes that Allâh is the only one Who is controlling the affairs of the universe, so he will patiently accept the ruling and decree of Allâh, regardless of what it may mean for him in the way of ease or hardship.

Patience for the sake of Allâh is of a higher degree than patience by the help of Allâh, as patience for the sake of Allâh is related to His being ilâh (god, object of worship), whilst patience by His help is related to His being rabb (lord, cherisher and sustainer). Whatever is connected to His being ilâh, such as patience for His sake, is worship, and as such is greater than whatever is connected to His being rabb, such as seeking His help in having patience. Worship is the ultimate goal, whereas seeking help is a means to an end. The goal is sought for its own sake, but means are sought for the sake of other things. Patience by His help is common to believers and unbelievers, good and bad, alike, while patience for His sake is the way of Messengers, Prophets and true believers. Patience for His sake is patience in matters that please Allâh, while patience by His help may apply to matters that please Him or displease Him.

Different degrees of patience

1. Patience both for the sake of Allâh and by the help of Allâh. A person will have patience by help of Allâh for the sake of Allâh, realizing that he has no power of his own whatsoever. This is the highest degree of patience.

2. Patience for the sake of Allâh but not by the help of Allâh. Such people may want to have patience for the sake of Allâh, but they are not actively seeking His help, and their trust and reliance (tawakkul) is weak. Such people will have a good ending, but they are weak and cannot achieve most of what they want to achieve. This is the situation of a sincere but weak believer.

3. Patience by the help of Allâh. Such a person seeks Allâh’s help and puts his trust in Him, admitting that he has no power or strength whatsoever, but his patience is not for the sake of Allâh, as his patience is not for reasons of faith. This will achieve his aims, but his ending may be worst. An example of such people are the leaders of the kuffâr and the followers of the Shaytân, as their patience is by the help of Allâh, but is not for the sake of Allâh.

4. No kind of patience whatsoever. This is the lowest degree, and a person of this type deserves all sorts of failures.

Those who have patience for the sake of Allâh and by the help of Allâh are those who are strong and achieve much. Those who have patience for the sake of Allâh, but not for the sake of Allâh, are capable, but evil. Those who have neither patience for the sake of Allâh not by the help of Allâh, are good people, but weak and helpless. Those who have patience by the help of Allâh, but not for the sake of Allâh, are capable, but evil. Those who have neither patience for the sake of Allâh nor by the help of Allâh are doomed to failure.

Patience & Gratitude: Patience is half of Iman

Patience and GratitudeBy Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat ash-Shâkireen” © 1997 TA-HA

Chapter 13: Patience is half of Îmân

Îmân is in two halves: half is patience (sabr) and half is gratitude (shukr). Therefore Allâh has mentioned patience and gratitude alongside one another: “Verily in this are signs for all who constantly persevere and give thanks” (Ibrâhîm 14:5; Luqmân 31:31; Sabâ’ 34:19; ash-Shurâ 42:33).

The reasons why one half of îmân is patience and the other half is gratitude are as follows:

1. Îmân is a term which covers words, deeds and intentions, all of which are based on one of two things, action or abstinence. Action refers to performing a deed in accordance with the instructions of Allâh, which is the reality of gratitude. Abstinence, as in refraining from wrong action, requires patience. The whole of religion is embodied in these two things: carrying out that which Allâh has commanded, and refraining from that which Allâh has prohibited.

2. Îmân is based on two pillars, yaqîn (conviction) and patience, which are referred to in the following ayah: “And We appointed, from among them, leaders, giving guidance under Our command, so long as they persevered with patience and continued to have faith in Our Signs” (as-Sajdah 32:34). It is through faith that we know the reality of Allâh’s commands and prohibitions, or reward and punishment, and it is through patience that we carry out His instructions and abstain from that which He has prohibited. A person can never come to believe in Allâh’s commands and prohibitions, and in reward and punishment, and it is through patience that we carry out His instructions and abstain from that which He has prohibited, and in reward and punishment, except through faith, and that is truly from Allâh. And we can never carry out Allâh’s instructions and abstain from that which He has prohibited except through patience. Therefore patience is half of îmân, and the other half is gratitude.

3. Man has two powers, the power of doing and the power of abstaining, which control all his behaviour. So a person will do what he likes and abstain from what he dislikes. The whole of religion is doing or abstaining, carrying out the instructions of Allâh or abstaining from that which He has prohibited, neither of which can be accomplished without patience.

4. The whole of religion is hope and fear, and the true believer is the one who is both hopeful and fearful. Allâh said: “…They used to call on Us with love and reverence, and humble themselves before Us” (al-Anbiyâ’ 21:90). The Prophet (SAAS) used to pray: “O Allâh, I have surrendered my soul to You, and turned my face to You. My (own) affair I commit to Allâh and I seek Your protection, in hope of You and in fear of You” (al-Bukhârî). So the believer is the one who is both hopeful and fearful, but hope and fear can only be based on the foundation of patience: fear should make the believer patient, and his hope should lead to gratitude.

5. Any action done by man is either beneficial or harmful to him in this world and the next, or else it is beneficial to him in the world and harmful to him in the other. The best course for man is to do that which is beneficial to him in the Hereafter, and abstain from that which is harmful to him in the Hereafter. This is the reality of îmân: to do what is good for him, and that is gratitude; and to abstain from that which harms him, and that is patience.

6. Man is always is a situation where he has to carry out an instruction of Allâh, or avoid something which Allâh has prohibited, or accept something that Allâh has decreed. In all cases, he has to face the situation with patience and gratitude. Carrying out Allâh’s instructions is gratitude, and abstaining from prohibited things and being content with the decree of Allâh constitutes patience.

7. Man is constantly being pulled in two opposing directions: should he respond to the lure of this world of desires and pleasures, or should he answer the call of Allâh and the hereafter, with the eternal Paradise that Allâh has prepared for His friend (walî)? Going against the call of whims and desires is patience, and responding to the call of Allâh and the Hereafter is gratitude.

8. Religion is based on two principles: determination and perseverance (patience), which are referred to in the du‘â of the Prophet (SAAS): “O Allâh, I ask You for perseverance in all my affairs, and I ask You for the determination to stay on the straight and narrow path.”

9. Religion is based on truth (haqq) and patience, which is referred to in the âyah: “…and they (join together) in the mutual teaching of truth, and of patience and constancy” (al-‘Asr 103:3). Man is required to work according to the truth, both by himself and others, which is the reality of gratitude, but he cannot do that without patience, therefore patience is half of îmân. And Allâh knows best.

Patience & Gratitude:Patience at the time of bereavement

Patience and GratitudeBy Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat ash-Shâkireen” © 1997 TA-HA

Chapter 12: Patience at the time of bereavement
· Eulogizing and wailing
· Saying a few words
· The deceased person suffers because of the people’s wailing for him

The loss of a loved one is a time when a person may be overwhelmed with grief, and many customs surrounding bereavement reflect the depth of the feeling of loss. Wailing, eulogizing (i.e. praising the deceased excessively) and tearing one’s garments are all customs which were well known at the time of Jâhiliyyah, and are still common among some Muslims. Such conduct is not permitted in Islâm, as the believer is required to face bereavement, like all the other trials of life, with patience.

It is permitted to cry or weep, softy, before death, at the time of death, and after the person has died. According to ash-Shâfi‘î, however, it is makrûh to cry after the person has died, but permissible before the soul has departed.

The correct opinion is that crying is permitted both before and after death. The evidence for this is the hadîth narrated by Jâbir ibn ‘Abdullâh (RA) in which he said: “My father died at the battle of Uhud, and I began to weep. The people told me to stop, but the Messenger (SAAS) never asked me to stop. Then my aunt Fâtimah began to weep too, and the Prophet (SAAS) said: ‘It does not matter whether you cry or not, the angels kept shading him until they ascended with his soul’ ” (agreed upon).

Ibn ‘Abbâs (RA) reported that when Ruqayyah (RA), the daughter of the Prophet (SAAS), died, the women started to cry, and ‘Umar (RA) began to whip them to make them stop. The Prophet (SAAS) told him: “O ‘Umar, leave them alone and let them cry.” To the women he said: “Go ahead and cry, but avoid the crying of the shaytân…Whatever comes from the eye and heart is from Allâh and is a sign of mercy, and whatever comes from your hand and your tongue is from the shaytân.” (Ahmad)

A number of sound ahâdîth describe the Prophet (SAAS) weeping on a number of occasions when someone he loved had died. When the Prophet (SAAS) visited the tomb of his mother he wept, and caused others to weep. When he was burying the martyr ‘Uthmân ibn Madh’un (RA) after Uhud, he kissed him and his tears fell on ‘Uthmân’s face. When he gave the news of the death of Ja’far (RA) and his companions in the battle against the Romans at Mu’tah, he spoke with tears streaming down his face.

Another sound report describes how Abû Bakr (RA) wept when he kissed the Prophet (SAAS) after he had died. The ahâdîth that forbid crying should be interpreted as referring to the kind of crying that is accompanied by eulogizing and wailing.

Eulogizing and wailing

Eulogizing the dead and wailing in grief are harâm, according to Ahmad, ash-Shâfi‘î and others. In a hadîth narrated from ‘Abdullâh ibn Mas‘ûd (RA), that the Prophet (SAAS) said: “He is not one of us who strikes himself on the cheeks, rends his garment and behaves like the people of Jâhiliyyah” (al-Bukhârî and Muslim).

Abû Mâlik al-Ash‘arî (RA) said: “The Prophet (SAAS) said: ‘There are four habits which my Ummah has, which are from the Jahiliyyah. My Ummah will never rid itself of them. They are: seeking pride in noble descent; slandering one another by casting doubts one one’s lineage; seeking rain through astrology; and wailing.’ ” In another hadîth, the Prophet (SAAS) said that if a woman practices the custom of wailing, and does not repent before she dies, on the Day of Resurrection she will be raised with clothes of tar and a shield of scabs. (Muslim)

Abû Mûsâ (RA) said: “The Prophet (SAAS) said: ‘The deceased person suffers because of the wailing of the living. When the wailing woman says, “What a great loss! I have lost my right arm, the one who clothed me”, the deceased will be pulled up sharply and asked: “Are you her right hand? Are you her support? Are you the one who clothed her?” ‘ ” (Ahmad).

There is no doubt that wailing and eulogizing are harâm. How could it be otherwise, when they indicate discontent with one’s Lord and contradict patience? Behaving this way harms oneself too, when one slaps one’s face, pulls out one’s hair, prays to Allâh to take one’s soul, wastes possessions by tearing one’s clothes, complains of injustice from Allâh and praises the deceased with qualities that he did not possess. Any of these would be sufficient grounds for the total prohibition of wailing and eulogizing.

Saying a few words

It is permissible to say a few words when crying over a deceased person, so long as these words are true, and are not accompanied by wailing or expression of discontent with the decree of Allâh. Such brief words do not contradict patience, and are not harâm. Anas (RA) reported that Abû Bakr (RA) entered upon the Prophet (SAAS) after he had passed away, put his hands on his temples, kissed him between the eyes and said: “O my Prophet, O my dearest friend, O my beloved.” (Ahmad)

Anas (RA) reported that when the Prophet (SAAS) became very ill, he started to lose conciousness. Fâtimah (RA) said, “How great is the distress of my father!” He said, “There will be no more distress for your father after today.” When the Prophet (SAAS) passed away, she said, “O my father who answered the call of his Lord, O my father whose destination is Paradise, O my father, to Jibrîl will tell the news of your death.” After the Prophet (SAAS) had been buried, she said, “O Anas, how could you bear to bury the Prophet and cover him with dust?” (al-Bukhârî)

When his son Ibrâhîm died, the Prophet (SAAS) said, “We are very sad for your death, O Ibrâhîm.” This does not indicate discontent with the decree of Allâh or complaining against Allâh. Such statements are no more than crying or weeping.

The deceased person suffers because of people’s wailing over him

A sahîh hadîth narrated from ‘Umar ibn al-Khattâb (RA) and his son, and al-Mughîrah ibn Shu‘bah indicates that a deceased person suffers because of people’s wailing over him. There should be no problem in understanding this hadîth, and it should not be seen as contradicting the Qur’ân or the basic principles of Sharî‘ah. It does not mean that a man can be punished because of another’s deeds. The Prophet (SAAS) did not say that the deceased person will be punished because of his family’s crying over him. What he said was that the deceased suffers because of that, meaning that it hurts him. Similarly, a dead person in the grave might suffer when a person in a neighbouring grave is being punished, just as in the life it hurts him to see his neighbour being punished. So when the family of a deceased person cries, wails and eulogizes him, like the people of Jâhiliyyah used to do, the deceased person will be hurt in his grave because of it. This is the suffering that is referred to in the hadîth.